Wedding Etiquette

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Wedding Etiquette

Stephanie Gomez, Contributing Writer

Your wedding day is one of the most important days of your life. It should be all about you and be the day of your dreams. But there are a lot of factors that go into wedding planning such as invitations, seating arrangements, gifts, etc. that all need to be handled with care. It is your day, but no matter what happens, you need to remain kind and gracious at all times. Here are some wedding etiquette tips to help you do this.

Invitations
When it comes time to send out wedding invitations, you need to have all the details figured out, and that doesn’t just mean the date and location.

Should you decide you do not want children at your wedding, you need to handle the situation carefully as to not offend parents who may be attending (but if it’s just a matter of cost, bare in mind that feeding children is significantly cheaper as most caterers offer children’s menus). Avoid writing “no children” on the wedding invitations. You can accomplish the same thing tactfully by writing out only the parents’ names and also have the word that it is an ‘adults only’ reception spread by word of mouth through family and friends.

When invited to a wedding, some people feel free to bring other people; family members who weren’t invited, a date even though it wasn’t specified, their children, etc. To avoid this, again write out the names of those who are specifically invited.

When sending wedding invitations to single friends, you need to indicate whether or not they may bring a guest. You can do this by simple adding “and guest” after their name. If you are worried about people bringing unexpected guests, it is totally acceptable to write the number of guests you are expecting on the RSVP card instead of allowing them to fill in a number. Then just have guests check off if they will or will not be attending.

Cash Bars
Traditionally, cash bars are considered to be bad wedding etiquette by many people. But with changing views about drinking and cost concerns, a cash bar may be a practical option. If you decide that you will have a cash bar, it is necessary to inform guests ahead of time by printing it in the wedding invitation with the reception information. If costs are an issue and you want to avoid a cash bar, there are other options. A great idea is to allot each guest two drink tickets (sent in their invitations). This is a more comfortable option for many couples, as limited funds are not so obvious to guests and many people believe that two drinks is a reasonable/responsible limit for one night. Some couples may even choose this route for their wedding simply for safety reasons (and to avoid drunken wedding guests).

Money as a Gift
As much as you may want money as a gift rather than registering for appliances, dishes and other items you may not need, you absolutely cannot ask people for money! Even if you’re asked face to face, do not tell people you want money as many people find this rude. The best way to handle this situation is by having your family spread the word, but make sure they specify why you would like money. If they specify that money is needed for a down payment on a house or to help pay for the honeymoon, people are much more comfortable giving money when they know what it will be used for. If you do receive money as a wedding gift, make sure you specify the amount and what it will be used for in your thank you note!

Thank You Notes
Always handwrite your thank you notes; it is a much more sincere gesture than pre-printed ones. Don’t forget to thank those who helped, aside from those who gave gifts. For example, if someone helped arrange flowers or organized your bridal shower, a thank you note is definitely in order. If you receive separate gifts (one for a bridal shower and then one for the wedding) you should write separate notes for each as well. Be sure to include your current address if it’s new so people will have it.

A lot of your personal time and efforts go into planning the perfect day.  Good etiquette on this day will go a long way with your guests and yourself.

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