Children and Weddings: To Invite or Not to Invite

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Children and Weddings: To Invite or Not to Invite

Ann Mason, Contributing Writer

Like all decisions facing the bride and groom as they plan their wedding day activities, the decision about whether or not to include children is a personal one. Each couple may handle the issue differently, deciding to include children in some or all of the festivities or planning an adults-only event. The most important thing is that you do what feels best and what will bring you the wedding day of your dreams.

Anything Goes

Weddings connect two families, and these families, most likely, include some children. Including children in the wedding ceremony, not only as participants, but as witnesses is a natural decision. Children can fill a space with joy and excitement, which fits the atmosphere of a wedding day. Children, however, can also run short on patience during long ceremonies where they are required to stay quiet, so helping them cope with some of the more adult-oriented events of the day can make the wedding more enjoyable for them and for their parents. One thing you can do is to put together "goodie bags" to keep children occupied during the ceremony or the reception. Have a friend, family member, or usher give goodie bags to parents and children as they arrive.

Kids in Moderation

Maybe you think you’d like your family and friends to be able to bring their children to the wedding, but you’re worried that their presence in the wedding ceremony might distract you and your guests from the intimacy of the event. One idea is to hire a babysitter to watch children in a separate room at the ceremony’s location. Be sure the sitter has everything he/she needs to keep kids happy, fed, and occupied for the duration of the ceremony. A movie and snacks might be all you need! Then, following the ceremony, parents can pick up their kids and bring them to the reception, which might be more kid friendly.

Adults Only

Your wedding day should be exactly the way you want it, so don’t feel guilty about an adults-only event. Though some invited guests may be taken aback by your request that they leave their sweet babies at home, others will likely appreciate the opportunity to have a "date night" at your wedding. If you choose this option, be aware that you need to be clear with your guests well in advance to avoid uncomfortable situations on the wedding day.

In your wedding correspondence, as early as your "save the date" card, tell guests that the event is for adults only. You can re-emphasize this in your invitations, which should be addressed with the adults’ names only. You may wish to preempt questions about your decision with a short note to your guests, or you might consider spreading the word early with family members and close friends and allow them to field some of the questions from other guests. You will have so many things on your mind, feel free to pass along some responsibility to others. And, speaking of responsibility, be sure to assign the duty of reminding guests of the policy, should they arrive with children in tow. Be prepared to stand your ground. Nothing will annoy other guests as much as seeing that one or two families were allowed to be the exception.

Weddings are amazing experiences, with or without children. However you decide to handle children, your day is sure to be special as long as you follow your heart and plan events the way you want them.

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